Hearing For A Day

Hi everyone,

I have been a little absent from blogging for a few weeks. Classes just started up again and I have been preoccupied with fighting for equal access for d/Deaf students at my university.
Today I want to talk about what I would do if I were to be hearing for a day. If I had 24 hours with perfect hearing, what would I do with it?

Someone asked me that question recently and I was not sure how to respond. The concept of having perfect hearing is foreign to me. I have no idea what perfect hearing is - what it sounds like. People have tried to describe it for me. I have been told what I hear, with hearing aids, is muffled. Perfect hearing sounds crisp, fresh, and rich. Without being able to contrast the two myself I cannot comment on what I hear in comparison to what a hearing person would.

I think people would expect to answer the question with some romantic, dream like response. I would want to hear the voices of the people that I love, I would want to hear the music that I love to feel, I would want to hear the sound of the ocean and birds flying through the sky. I don’t think I would. I think if I could be hearing for one day I would want to hear my voice and I would want to hear someone say words that I struggle to pronounce.

I don’t care about the birds, the ocean, and my friends and family’s voices. I have never heard them the “right” way before so why would I want to hear them now. I have no idea what I have apparently been missing and I am not really interested in finding out. What little sounds I do hear with my hearing aids scare me enough.

Sometimes I do want to hear. I do want to hear words and the way they are pronounced but when I do suddenly hear a new sound or experience more sound that normal I get scared. I feel nervous and I don’t understand this strange new expansion of my auditory world. It is culture shock for me when I hear that new sound. Some people adjust to those situations better than others, and I do not adjust at all. I recoil and take my hearing aids off - preferring my silent world over the strange, bizarre sounds that make my eyes twitch and my head ache.

So if I could be hearing for day, if I could survive the day without plugging my ears, I would want to hear my own voice and try to learn how to pronounce a few words. Beyond that I have little interest in my auditory environment, that vast scary world that encompasses most of the people I spend my days with.

That is enough for tonight!

Jenny