And then there was the CI debate...

Hey All,

I am note sure if I mentioned this is yesterdays post or not but I told my audiologist that I would go meet with the cochlear implant audiologist. I do not want a CI. I am sticking with that, but there isn't a harm in looking into it is there? I have read a whole bunch of stuff from Cochlear Americas, Advanced Bionics, and Med-el. I have watched all of their videos, and read all the stories from recipiants of their implants. All of them have the same story, 'My life was over and ruined by my deafness. Now I can hear and I am forever greatful. My life will once again have meaning and purpose." I have watched videos and read stories about people who hated their implants. I have looked into the medical complications, and the risks involved. I have spoken to people face to face about their implants. I have talked with people who love their implant and use it every waking hour, people who only use it when around hearing people, and people who used it for a few months and haven't touched it since. I think I have given myself a glimps of CI's from every side of the argument. I still stand firm, I don't want to do it.

Yesterday, for the first time, my audiologist told me she wanted me to go and look into it. She had never said she wanted me to go before. When I asked what she wanted me to do, or how she felt about it, she would always say it didn't matter to her. It was completely up to me and if I wanted to do it then she would arrange the appointment for me in a heartbeat. Yesterday, she actually said she wanted me to go. Knowing that she wants me to go, I told her yesterday that I would. I think my main motivation behind agreeing is making those around me happy. All of my hearing friends want me to get a CI. None of them can really understand why I wouldn't want it.

My circumstances are a bit different from most peoples. Yes I have a progressive loss, and yes I participated in the mainstreamed hearing world my whole life, but I have also been signing my whole life, and I have had Deaf friends my whole life. I truly feel as though I am stuck between two worlds right now. I think that going and meeting with a CI audiologist will give my hearing friends, parents, and my audioloigst some peace of mind knowing that I really did explore all of my options and I am making an informed decision. I do understand where my audiologist is coming from, wanting me to go, she just wants to ensure that I am making an informed choice and that she have given me every opportunity to do so. I get that.

I guess the previous paragraphs were me convincing myself that I actually wanted to go to this CI meeting. It was unsuccesful. I will do it anyway though.

In other news, my audiologist ordered me a new Naida for my right ear. I think it is a problem with the battery contacts. I have noticed that it mostly dies when I tuck my hair behind my ear, or adjust my glasses. I think that the little jostle it gives the hearing aid is causing the battery to lose contact with the...um...contacts. I should have the new aid next week. Hopefully this is it too. I need this all to be solved by summer when I start working full time. That leaves two months as of today. I know that seems like plenty of time, but me of all people, knows what can change in two months. A lot can change in two months. At least my thresholds have stabalized. My sensorineural ones anyway. My conductive thresholds are always going to fluctuate. My sensorineural thresholds are about 10-15dB better than my conductive ones. For my that 10-15dB is huge! I also don't want to be loosing more of my hearing to a conductive loss. My audiologist wants me to talk to an ENT about preventing it further. I am going to talk to my family doctor about it on Monday. See what she has to say about it. I know that for various reasons I wasn't a candidate for tubes when I was younger. Maybe that has changed now. We shall see.

Anyway, I have school soon so I should be heading out.

-Jenny