Deaf vs. deaf

The notion of the binary is something that is often challenged in the discussion of identity. Many binary scales are opposed in anti-oppression frameworks, perhaps the most famous and common being the gender binary of male and female followed by the race related binary of black and white. However, one binary that I rarely find challenged is that of Deaf and deaf.

I have a strong Deaf identity and I have valued roots in the Deaf community. At the same time, I have roots in the Hearing community as well, coming from a Hearing family in a Hearing community. My Deaf identity is not on a binary scale but rather a fluid forever changing entity that exists within me.

On a recent trip to my hometown of Kingston I began thinking more about my identity. To my friends and family in Kingston I am not Deaf. No matter how much I tell them about my Deaf community, my Deaf friends, and my beloved language - ASL - I will never be Deaf to them. They never get a glimpse into my Deaf life and subsequently into my prioritized identity. In Kingston, I am deaf. I am oral and ASL is simply a three letter phrase that holds little meaning. For my friends and family to even begin to conceptualize that I use a completely separate language 90% of the time is impossible.

As I got onto the train this afternoon to return back to Toronto I automatically switched back to my culturally Deaf identity and away from my oral deaf identity. I turned off my voice and stopped lip-reading, communicating mainly through notes and gesture. Upon my arrival in Toronto I will reunite with my Deaf friends and community and for the first time in 5 days my hands will be back at home doing what they do best - communicating!

The difference with my Deaf identity in Toronto is that my community and the people I interact with, for the most part, can conceptualize and understand my counter identity. They can imagine me speaking and interacting with the hearing world using their language, because for most of them it is their lived reality too. I have some people in my life who may not be able to see the deaf side but I am sure most of them can.

Within myself I can see both sides at all times. I am constantly aware of the binary scale that I am supposed to adhere to at any given moment. The thought of me living in both realities at once terrifies me as I envision what my separate worlds would do as they collide. Would there be an explosion? A war? Or maybe they would shake hands and get to know one another? It is impossible to say what would happen as my two worlds collide in what would quite possibly be an epic moment which perhaps would create a new solar system for my identity to explore.

In May the true test will become a reality as my Deaf friends and I make a journey to Kingston for a three day get away from the city. My worlds will meet, mingle, and perhaps even mix and that will be the true test of the strength of my identities. Which one will prevail in such a volatile environment? Even I am not sure how to answer that question and we will have to wait and see.

'Terp Talk

Hello one and all,

I think one thing that all Deaf people realise, if only on a sub-conscious level, that we are forever reliant on interpreters. As a result the inevitable ‘terp talk’ ensues often within the Deaf community. We talk about our favorites, share horror stories, promote the good ones and destroy the reputations of the bad ones.

The fact that a persons career can be destroyed by this community conversation is somewhat distressing but at the same it is in a sense quality control coming straight from the consumer. Any decent interpreter is very aware of this screening process and tries their best to remain on the favorites or good interpreter lists. I have no doubt that this can be hard to do because each Deaf person has a different preference, signing style, expectation, and personality.

A good interpreter who doesn’t want to end up bashed by the Deaf community must be versatile and willing. They must accept feedback openly and be willing to modify their interpreting to please the client. They must have strong ASL skills and strong interpreting skills. I think in general the Deaf community is welcoming to newer interpreters that aren’t as strongly skilled, but the interpreter must be aware of this and only work within their means. Deaf people expect confidentiality, respect, and impartiality. I believe these are well known, common expectations for interpreters.

My own personal expectations are slightly different. I am little more relaxed with somethings depending on the interpreter. I don’t mind if the interpreter has an opinion as long as they don’t express it in just any situation. One example I have happened after a conversation with a TA. I spent a long time trying to explain my point. I tried voicing for myself, signing, examples, everything and the TA couldn’t grasp what I was trying to explain. I left the conversation frustrated and confused. The interpreter and I walked out of the building together and she asked if she could step out of her neutral spot for a moment. I said it was fine and she assured me that I was clear and that at least she understood the point I was trying to make.

I expect interpreters to respect my choice to sign or voice for myself. I know some expect me to pick one and stick with it but as the situation changes my personal preference changes too. I expect communication. If the interpreter isn’t comfortable with a certain situation, if they are unsure of what I am trying to express, if something is bothering them, I want to know.

The interpreter/Deaf person relationship is a complex on. The Deaf person is essentially both the consumer and the employer, yet the interpreter has significant power. It is definitely an interesting situation for both parties. I think in order for the this intricate relationship to be successful there must be trust and understanding from both the Deaf individual and the interpreter. Personally, there are 2 interpreters I trust enough to use in virtually any situation. One of them is my preference for classes and meetings, the other is my preference for more personal things such as doctors appointments.

I trust these two interpreters because I can communicate openly with them. I know they are strongly skilled and I trust them to voice for me. I also know both of them well enough to know when I should be speech reading them to make sure they understood what I am trying to say. When the ‘terp talk’ comes up I make sure to promote both of them, although they don’t really need my promotion as they both have strong reputations regardless.

One of my first interpreter experiences here in Toronto was quite negative. This specific interpreter was unwilling to accept my feedback and modify his interpreting, he was expressionless and appeared to be bored throughout the entire assignment. Few people in the Deaf community are familiar with his name and now I know why. He was ‘black listed’ a long time ago.

In some ways I find it to be unfair that interpreters can’t discuss the Deaf people the encounter. Some Deaf people are horrible to interpreters and I have seen it first hand. I try my hardest to empathize with interpreters as I also am in a service related field as a support worker. There are obvious differences in my job and theirs but the same fundamental issues persist through both professions. With this I try to be a good person to work with. I want the interpreters to enjoy working with me and I want them to want to work with me. There is no lack of interpreting jobs for strong, skilled interpreters. They could easily turn down anything I ask them to do for me. They are providing me with a valuable service and access to equitable communication with my hearing peers. For that I must be grateful. I know at any moment my preferred and favorite interpreters could decide they don’t want to work with me anymore.

Interpreters and Deaf people walk a fine line together and I think the key is finding out how to balance on it without falling off either side. I think it is just as much the responsibility of Deaf people to do this as it is the interpreters. I am sure there are Deaf people out there with apposing perspectives but this is my opinion.

That is all for tonight!

Jenny

Respect

Hi Everyone,

Today I want to talk about respect. I gave a workshop to a group of support workers on this topic this morning and some of their questions left me baffled that these people were working in the field that they are. It also got me thinking about respect in my own life. Respect can mean many things. In my life I see it in respect for my communication preferences, respect for my identity, respect for my body, and respect for my choices.

My communication preferences differ depending on the situation. Sometimes I will speak and speech reading, sometimes I will use interpreters and ASL. Even with an interpreter present I may choose to voice for myself, or I may choose to speech read the speaker. I am very shy about using my voice but I will from time to time. When I have the same interpreter with me for most of the week I need to be sure that they will respect my choice depending on the situation. I know that some interpreters are not flexible and want me to choose. I am lucky that those with me on a regular basis respect my choices depending on the situation.

This same respect for communication preferences extends to the Deaf and Hearing communities as well. I expect the Deaf community to respect my choice to speak sometimes, and I expect the Hearing community to respect my choice to sign. When I make a communication choice it is because it is the best one for me in that situation.

My identity is Deaf. I am not hearing impaired, hard of hearing, hearing, or anything else. I am Deaf. Period. I again expect both the Deaf and Hearing communities to respect my identity. I am sick of being asked if I am “Deaf Deaf” because I am new to the Deaf community here. I am sick of people insisting on calling me “hearing impaired” in the Hearing community. I am Deaf. That is me. Respect it.

I expect people to respect my body. I don’t like it when people throw things at me, or tap me insensately. I expect people to get my attention in a respectful manor. If I go to a doctor or medical professional I expect them to only do required tests and procedures.

I expect respect for my choices. My choice to not get a cochlear implant, my choice to speak or sign, my choice of school, my choice of job. I know what I need better than anyone else and I demand that people respect these choices. Not only those choices but any choices I make in my life. It is my life and I am making these choices for a reason.

The biggest lack of respect I see in the support worker community is the respect of identity. Today I could not get the group to call me Deaf because to them I was a “person with a hearing impairment”. No, I am Deaf. Respect the individual. Please.

G'night!

Jenny