'Terp Talk

Hello one and all,

I think one thing that all Deaf people realise, if only on a sub-conscious level, that we are forever reliant on interpreters. As a result the inevitable ‘terp talk’ ensues often within the Deaf community. We talk about our favorites, share horror stories, promote the good ones and destroy the reputations of the bad ones.

The fact that a persons career can be destroyed by this community conversation is somewhat distressing but at the same it is in a sense quality control coming straight from the consumer. Any decent interpreter is very aware of this screening process and tries their best to remain on the favorites or good interpreter lists. I have no doubt that this can be hard to do because each Deaf person has a different preference, signing style, expectation, and personality.

A good interpreter who doesn’t want to end up bashed by the Deaf community must be versatile and willing. They must accept feedback openly and be willing to modify their interpreting to please the client. They must have strong ASL skills and strong interpreting skills. I think in general the Deaf community is welcoming to newer interpreters that aren’t as strongly skilled, but the interpreter must be aware of this and only work within their means. Deaf people expect confidentiality, respect, and impartiality. I believe these are well known, common expectations for interpreters.

My own personal expectations are slightly different. I am little more relaxed with somethings depending on the interpreter. I don’t mind if the interpreter has an opinion as long as they don’t express it in just any situation. One example I have happened after a conversation with a TA. I spent a long time trying to explain my point. I tried voicing for myself, signing, examples, everything and the TA couldn’t grasp what I was trying to explain. I left the conversation frustrated and confused. The interpreter and I walked out of the building together and she asked if she could step out of her neutral spot for a moment. I said it was fine and she assured me that I was clear and that at least she understood the point I was trying to make.

I expect interpreters to respect my choice to sign or voice for myself. I know some expect me to pick one and stick with it but as the situation changes my personal preference changes too. I expect communication. If the interpreter isn’t comfortable with a certain situation, if they are unsure of what I am trying to express, if something is bothering them, I want to know.

The interpreter/Deaf person relationship is a complex on. The Deaf person is essentially both the consumer and the employer, yet the interpreter has significant power. It is definitely an interesting situation for both parties. I think in order for the this intricate relationship to be successful there must be trust and understanding from both the Deaf individual and the interpreter. Personally, there are 2 interpreters I trust enough to use in virtually any situation. One of them is my preference for classes and meetings, the other is my preference for more personal things such as doctors appointments.

I trust these two interpreters because I can communicate openly with them. I know they are strongly skilled and I trust them to voice for me. I also know both of them well enough to know when I should be speech reading them to make sure they understood what I am trying to say. When the ‘terp talk’ comes up I make sure to promote both of them, although they don’t really need my promotion as they both have strong reputations regardless.

One of my first interpreter experiences here in Toronto was quite negative. This specific interpreter was unwilling to accept my feedback and modify his interpreting, he was expressionless and appeared to be bored throughout the entire assignment. Few people in the Deaf community are familiar with his name and now I know why. He was ‘black listed’ a long time ago.

In some ways I find it to be unfair that interpreters can’t discuss the Deaf people the encounter. Some Deaf people are horrible to interpreters and I have seen it first hand. I try my hardest to empathize with interpreters as I also am in a service related field as a support worker. There are obvious differences in my job and theirs but the same fundamental issues persist through both professions. With this I try to be a good person to work with. I want the interpreters to enjoy working with me and I want them to want to work with me. There is no lack of interpreting jobs for strong, skilled interpreters. They could easily turn down anything I ask them to do for me. They are providing me with a valuable service and access to equitable communication with my hearing peers. For that I must be grateful. I know at any moment my preferred and favorite interpreters could decide they don’t want to work with me anymore.

Interpreters and Deaf people walk a fine line together and I think the key is finding out how to balance on it without falling off either side. I think it is just as much the responsibility of Deaf people to do this as it is the interpreters. I am sure there are Deaf people out there with apposing perspectives but this is my opinion.

That is all for tonight!

Jenny

Respect

Hi Everyone,

Today I want to talk about respect. I gave a workshop to a group of support workers on this topic this morning and some of their questions left me baffled that these people were working in the field that they are. It also got me thinking about respect in my own life. Respect can mean many things. In my life I see it in respect for my communication preferences, respect for my identity, respect for my body, and respect for my choices.

My communication preferences differ depending on the situation. Sometimes I will speak and speech reading, sometimes I will use interpreters and ASL. Even with an interpreter present I may choose to voice for myself, or I may choose to speech read the speaker. I am very shy about using my voice but I will from time to time. When I have the same interpreter with me for most of the week I need to be sure that they will respect my choice depending on the situation. I know that some interpreters are not flexible and want me to choose. I am lucky that those with me on a regular basis respect my choices depending on the situation.

This same respect for communication preferences extends to the Deaf and Hearing communities as well. I expect the Deaf community to respect my choice to speak sometimes, and I expect the Hearing community to respect my choice to sign. When I make a communication choice it is because it is the best one for me in that situation.

My identity is Deaf. I am not hearing impaired, hard of hearing, hearing, or anything else. I am Deaf. Period. I again expect both the Deaf and Hearing communities to respect my identity. I am sick of being asked if I am “Deaf Deaf” because I am new to the Deaf community here. I am sick of people insisting on calling me “hearing impaired” in the Hearing community. I am Deaf. That is me. Respect it.

I expect people to respect my body. I don’t like it when people throw things at me, or tap me insensately. I expect people to get my attention in a respectful manor. If I go to a doctor or medical professional I expect them to only do required tests and procedures.

I expect respect for my choices. My choice to not get a cochlear implant, my choice to speak or sign, my choice of school, my choice of job. I know what I need better than anyone else and I demand that people respect these choices. Not only those choices but any choices I make in my life. It is my life and I am making these choices for a reason.

The biggest lack of respect I see in the support worker community is the respect of identity. Today I could not get the group to call me Deaf because to them I was a “person with a hearing impairment”. No, I am Deaf. Respect the individual. Please.

G'night!

Jenny

Purple Hearing Aids!

Hey Everyone,


This is mostly for Alicia because she has been bugging me for pics since I told her I was getting purple hearing aids! So...here they are!

I got purple Phonak Naidas today!

Lessons Taught By The Unexpected Person

Hi Everyone,

I want to talk about the unexpected lessons we learn in life. I know everyone has been taught something amazing by someone who you would have never expected it from. My lesson came from a 13 year old deaf girl with Down Syndrome. For confidentiality reasons I cannot say her name but we will call her Erin for the purpose of this story.

I first met Erin in July. I was working with a young man at a summer camp that she was attending as well. From observing her I knew she was having a hard time communicating and as a result she was acting out. Erin would run away from the camp staff, take out her hearing aids, hit people, and generally displayed defiant behaviour. I wasn’t working with her so I only had very slight exposure to her but I used that to try to talking with her support worker about improving Erin’s situation. Her worker was very set in her ways but did take some of my advice, but Erin showed no improvement in her behaviour.

I was only at that camp for two weeks before moving on to another setting with another client. I forgot about Erin until I received an email from a coordinator of mine from work. The coordinator emailed me to see if I would be interested in providing support for a young deaf woman with Down Syndrome. I talked with the coordinator briefly before agreeing to meet with the family. When I found out the young woman was Erin I was intrigued.

A few weeks later I went to meet with Erin’s mother to discuss what kind of support she was looking for. Her mother explained that she wanted tutoring support as well as language development. The goal was to get Erin signing and able to communicate. I jumped at the opportunity and agreed to work with Erin without hesitation. I knew she wasn’t the girl I saw at that camp and I couldn’t wait to find out who she actually was.

The following Thursday I started with working with her. I am not going to lie, it was a challenge at first. Erin put me through my paces to see what I was capable of. She threw every test that she had at me but quickly she learned that she couldn’t win. Very soon after that I saw the real Erin. She is the sweetest girl I have ever met and she had thirst to communicate.

I started signing with her trying to build up her vocabulary. We would sit at a desk and go over books and sign different letters and different words. We would watch T.V. and I would talk to her about the show and use Sign to do it. I could see her trying to figure this out. I knew she wanted to.

Her mother was a little protective but slowly I convinced her to let me take Eric places. We started with a trip to a farm. Erin loved every minute of it. We talked about the animals we saw, especially the chickens since those were her favourite. It was on that trip to the farm that I first saw her language skills starting to blossom. I could see her making connections between the signs she was learning and the things we were talking about it. By the end of that day she knew that when I signed “chicken” I was talking about the chicken.

Soon after that I started going to a gymnastics class with her. I wasn’t sure how she would do at the class, or if she would enjoy it. I was also quite unsure of my role in the class, but I knew I would let Erin decide that on her own.

We arrived on the first day about 10 minutes early. We went in and watched some of the class that was happening before hers so she could see what to expect. I introduced myself to the teachers as a support worker and let them meet Erin just before warm up started. When I turned around to introduce Erin she wasn’t there. I looked around the gym and found her sitting with the rest of the kids in her class in the warm-up spot. She blended right into the group and was sitting in a circle with a few other girls. They were all talking and laughing and Erin was laughing along with them.

I stood and watched as the teacher went over and started to lead the warm-up. Erin stood up and followed her peers to the best of her ability. She has some difficulty with her gross motor skills but other than that she looked like part of the group. I knew that she couldn’t hear a thing in the large concrete box of a room she was in but you would never be able to tell.

Warm-up finished and the group split off into smaller sections. I read the teachers lips and waited to see Erin’s name and led her to her group. We started off on the beam and none of us knew how Erin would do. I stood with her in line while she watched the other kids have their turn. When she was up she climbed up onto the beam the same way all of the other kids had. She stood up and gestured for the teachers hand. She grabbed her hand and walked across the beam. She watched the other students intently between her turns and simply did whatever they had.

From there we went to the vault. Erin watched what the other students were doing and noticed that ever student did something different. She ran and got up onto the vault. She stood up and looked to her teacher for instructions on what to do. The teacher gestured a star jump and Erin did a star jump. I was amazed that this was the same girl I had seen at the camp just months earlier. As the weeks progressed I started to understand Erin better and better. We could communicate without any problems and I was in awe her achievements.

However, the real lesson came from Erin. Watching her with her peers at gymnastics amazed me. With her limited language skills she had managed to achieve something I have never been able to do. She could blend in with her hearing peers and make it seem like the most natural thing in the world. Watching Erin and how she communicates has taught me more about being a Deaf person than anyone else ever has. She has shown me how to overcome social barriers with an ease that I have never seen before.

Erin has taught me that regardless of hearing status, language skills, and another difference you can still overcome every barrier. More than that, she has motivated me to try. Now, in situations when I would normally give up, I stick around to see what might happen. Erin has inspired me more than I ever thought anyone could. I owe a lot to her right now, especially my drive to find Deaf access at my University.

Jenny

Deaf Access

Hi Everyone,

I have had a very hard time with this post. There is a lot that I want to talk about but sometimes I am not sure where to even begin.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a rollercoaster - and it’s broken. It feels like I am able to slowly climb up that steep incline, only to be dropped backwards when I reach the top. My weekends are my peak, when I finally reach the top and then Mondays are when I plummet.

I have started to spend every weekend with my Deaf friends or Hearing/Signing friends. For the first time I want to go out and I want to be social. I enjoy it and I feel comfortable. I am not bouncing around trying to read lips, and I am not frustrated. Going out is fun and I finally understand why my hearing friends enjoy it! I become a confident person and I find myself doing things I have never done before in my life - like introducing myself to people. It is amazing how I evolve on weekends, by Sunday night I feel like I am on top of the world.

Then Monday comes. Today was a particularly hard fall when I woke up to an email from one of my professors. The email was to explain that in two weeks there will be video clips used in class. He told me I didn’t need to be there for this as there were no subtitles. I emailed him back and explained that most DVDs are CC encoded and I could explain how to check. What I received back from him shocked me, he explained that CC are too distracting and i would clutter the screen. He would prefer it if I watched the videos alone at home. I am furious about this response. I sent him another email and provided an analogy of saying that the ramp provided for students who cannot use stairs is too distracting for the students that can use stairs.

I still haven’t heard back from him.

This is only one of the many issues I have regarding access at my University. I am really appalled that no one here understands the concept of Deaf access. They seem to think that because I have people that follow me around and wave their arms all day (interpreters) that I am good. I need more than the “arm waving” to be able to access the classroom, I need CC for video materials, I need visual supports, I need proper lighting, I need one person to speak at a time, I need a copy of all written material (such as handouts for group work where they may only give one per group), and I [and the interpreters] need a break if it is a long lecture.

Then there are the issues involving interpreters. I need my timetable early enough to be able to book interpreters, the use of interpreters needs to be explained to my professors and TA’s, and there needs to be a willingness to learn and ask questions from all parties.

I didn’t think any of this would be hard for people to understand - apparently it is. I am fighting as hard as I can and putting as much of me into it as is physically possible. It still is not enough. I am a strong advocate and activist but I am starting to lose my strength. I feel like I am fighting for the same thing everyday and yet getting no where. Once I break down one wall another one is quickly put up, maybe in a different location but it still blocks me from getting through.

Thankfully I have a good deal of support from a few different sources. My audiologist will always write a letter for me, if I need it, explaining the implications of my hearing loss, the person who helps to book my interpreters is always willing to help me in anyway she can and always provides me with tons of moral support, and a good Deaf friend of mine is great at sharing her experiences and helping me to network. Even with that I still feel defeated some days.

I have emailed the head of Access Services at the University to see about proving a professional development opportunity for professors and TA’s around Deaf access. I have a few ideas and I hope that they will back me up. I want to see a Deaf population at the University. To start that development access needs to be improved and the University must prove itself to be Deaf friendly. I am going to continue to fight and advocate for Deaf rights but until I see marked improvement I am going to ensure both the Deaf and interpreter communities are of the inequities I am facing.

Jenny

Audiologists

Hey all,

I want to continue my thoughts on audiologists today.

I mentioned yesterday that there have only been two in my life that I have actually respected. I would like to tell the stories of how I came to respect each of these audiologists.

The first one, S., was one of the audiologists that worked in the hospital based clinic in the town where I grew up. She was Deaf herself and very stubborn. There were 4 audiologists there at that time, at least that is all I can remember. I was bounced between them because I was a horrible child. I would bite them, hit them, kick them, and eventually it got to the point that S. was the only audiologist who would work with me.

I was 7 or 8 and it was time for my yearly hearing test. My mother brought me, all prepared for a huge fight complete with kicking, screaming, and biting, but this year I had a different tactic in mind. Both S. and my mother were surprised by how calm I was. They brought me into the booth, S. stuck some head phones on me, and then when out to start the test. I heard the beeps but I refused to respond. They put me through the entire range of hearing tests but I just sat there. They knew I could hear at least some of it and S. arranged for my mother to come back again the next night to try again.

The following day a similar scene played out. I sat there through the beeps, the “Say the word baseball”, “Say the word sailboat”, “Say the word ice cream”. I never once responded. S. was ready for a fight. She wasn’t going to back down or hand me off, I think she saw me as a challenge. S. instructed my mom to come back the next evening. Again, the same thing happened.

This continued for 15 consecutive business days. The 15th attempt rolled around and I think they decided to get one of the other audiologists to stick around and help out. The other audiologist did the testing and S. came into the booth with me. She tried to coax and bribe me into responded. I gave her what she wanted and I responded, but not always to the first sound I heard. Whenever I would get annoyed by her bribing and coaxing I would kick her, hit her, pull her hair, whatever seemed easiest. The audiologist charted these responses and that audiogram is quite funny looking. It kind of looks like a bold of lightning going across the graph.

The 16th day came around and it was back to just being S. and I. Again, I sat there. Finally on day 17 I realised S. wasn’t going to give up on me and I responded to the beeps and did the test. After that day S. never had a problem with me again. I dealt with her, and only her. I respected her for sticking it out with me.

The second audiologist, E., is the one I am currently seeing. Much like S., it took E. some time to earn my respect and trust. It certainly wasn’t as big of a production as it was when I was 7 or 8, but it certainly took just as long.

I remember the first little while with E. I thought she was a bit patronizing and condescending and she is young too which scared me a little bit. E. got her share of tests from me too, although they were not in the form of hitting, biting, kicking, or screaming. Instead I played stupid. I acted like I didn’t know how to read an audiogram, how to put in an earmold, how to change the batteries, and so on. She continuously gave me all the right answers. Quickly I had nothing against her, other than the fact that she is an audiologist.

The day that E. diagnosed that my hearing had dropped drastically was the first time I started to respect her. I was so impressed with the way she handled everything and how calm she was as she explained my hearing had dropped close to 30 dB. I don’t think there was anything she could have done differently in that situation. From there she started to earn my trust. I don’t think there was one concrete moment when I started to trust her though. It is something that has developed over the past several months.

She has earned my respect and trust not only as a person but as an audiologist. She accepts that I use Sign, and that the Deaf community is part of my life. She sees the importance it holds for me now and has never once tried to talk down to me because of it. She also respects me, and lets me choose how I want to handle my hearing loss. I know she would rather me wear my hearing aids all day everyday, but she knows it isn’t going to happen, so she doesn’t bother me about it. It’s the little things like that which make the difference.

What I am getting at here is that it is fairly simple for an audiologist to respect their patients and their wishes as long as it isn’t doing them harm. I say that with caution because I know many audiologists feel that ASL and the Deaf community are doing me harm. The fact is, I am an adult. It is up to me to make my own decisions regarding communication, and my life. Having an audiologist that respects that and even goes as far as understanding that makes a world of difference for me. Why can’t more audiologists see that? It’s my life, not theirs, I am going to live it how I want and they might as well support me in those choices to the best of their ability.

Jenny

More on identity

Hi everyone,

I have continued to think about identity for the past few days and how it impacts us. There are many parts to my identity but how do I prioritise it. Sometimes I wonder what should come first. How do I decide what should even be included in my socialized identity? Normally I identify as a young Deaf queer woman, in that order too.

Young, why does it get to come first? It is certainly not the most important, or even a remotely important part of my identity. I suppose it holds more importance if you were to read a bio on me. I have done a lot in my life for an 18 year old. That is the only time when ‘young’ seems to be a significant part of who I am, when I am flaunting it. No, flaunting it isn’t the right word. When I am proving myself seems better.

Deaf, now that is important. Deaf is more than just part of my identity, it is my communication needs. Communication is paramount to success in our world and by highlighting the importance of ‘Deaf’ in my identity you also highlight my communication methods and needs. I use ASL, I speech read, I speak (but not like a Hearing person) and I use more visual information than others. ‘Deaf’ is also one of my cultures, my friends, and where I feel comfortable.

Queer, I suppose this is important. ‘Queer ‘used to hold much more significance in my identity than it does now. My life used to revolve around ’queer’ ! When I first moved to Toronto I didn’t even speak to straight people. This wasn’t intentional but that is how it ended up. I segregated myself within this community that I felt comfortable with. For the first time it was okay for me to be queer. I wasn’t ridiculed and I felt safe. I embraced ‘queer’ as much as I could. Now, a year later, I am not sure how important it is to me. I definitely am still heavily involved in the Queer community but it is starting to take a different shape now. I no longer feel a need to have queer friends and community for strength and support. They are there but they are just people. There are new young queer people, who are just ‘out’ and ready to fight. Don’t get my wrong, I will still fight when needed but I am no longer militant about it.

Woman, this is a tough one for me. I am a feminist and will openly proclaim that. I am involved in the feminist movement and I will fight for womens rights until the day I die. How important is my female identity to that though? I realise that is a dangerous statement for me to make but it is the truth. My female identity changes by the day. I used to identify as more ‘gender queer’ than female, though I am not as fluid in my gender expression as I was back then (certainly not to the point that I identify as ‘gender queer’) I don’t always feel as though the label ‘woman’ is true for me. Today it is part of my identity, but not as much as it was on Saturday.

Those four parts of my identity ‘Young’, ‘Deaf’, ‘Queer’, and ‘Woman’ are only that, parts of my identity. They are not the only parts of my identity either. There are certainly more but for some reason they get left out of my brief synopsis of who I am. ‘Young Deaf Queer Woman’ certainly defines me as the media, and activism communities see me but that isn’t me. Sometimes parts of it get dropped too. When I am doing Queer rights work, Deaf often gets dropped from my list. Rarely by my choice, normally it is done by the media, for some reason it becomes unimportant.

The previous paragraphs were really a lengthy introduction to a concern about Deaf identity. There are millions of people in North America with hearing loss, yet only a marginal few embrace their hearing loss as an identity.

I am reading a book right now called “Deaf Sentence” by David Lodge. It is about an older retired man who is very hard of hearing and how it effects his life. The main character, Desmond, considers his hearing loss to be a very negative thing. At one point in the book the main character comments that he has no idea who could find anything good about hearing loss. This got me thinking about why all people can’t embrace it as part of them.

There is certainly a negative stigma attached to hearing loss. There is a fear of being noticed and not ‘passing’ as a hearing person. There is the fear of someone noticing the rather large, awkward, plastic things encasing your ears. There is the constant use of the phrases “What?” ,“Pardon?”, and “Sorry, I missed what you said.”. There is the occasional isolation when you are surrounded by Hearing people who are talking and you have no idea what was said. Yes, hearing loss can be negative, I won’t deny that. It can also be positive too and very few people see that.

There is an entire community rallied around the fact that sometimes peoples ears just don’t work at full capacity, or at all. There are people who are proud to be Hard of Hearing and rally together because of that. There are people who are proud to be Deaf and rally together because of that. There are groups where Hearing, Hard of Hearing, and Deaf all overlap because of a common language, ASL (or another Sign Language). With this community out there, and readily available, what stops people from embracing it? There is no one answer to that question but I would like to attempt to provide a few different ones.

One obvious answer is age. Many people end up with hearing loss later in life. At this point they are often well established with a social group and feel no need to seek out a new one. This is the only reason I am not going to criticise. [When I say criticise I do not mean that all other peoples reasons aren’t valid but this is simply one I am planning to leave alone].

I would like to propose that audiologists create this segregation between the social/cultural model of disability (capital ‘D’ Deaf) and the individual model (lower-case ‘d’ deaf) . Not to say all audiologists do this, or that it is even a conscious action on the part of the profession. When someone goes to an audiologist they are normally going because they are having difficulty hearing. The audiologists does some tests, finds that the person does indeed have any degree of hearing loss, and then they set out to “fix” them. Sometimes that means hearing aids, cochlear implants, or ENT referrals. While I have nothing wrong with “fixes” they are mostly temporary solutions, and they rarely actually “fix” the problem. They are more like an annoying band-aid that keeps falling off.

Audiologists see people with hearing loss as something that is broken. They see me as someone who is “hearing impaired”, not as someone who is Deaf. They tell me that my quality of life will improve with cochlear implants and I will have more opportunities. Who are they to judge me! Audiologists are experts on hearing loss, not lives.

I would be curious to know how much training and information about hearing loss as an identity and the Deaf and Hard of Hearing communities audiologists are given during their masters programs. To me that should hold great importance for the profession. I don’t care if some audiologists will only encounter a few Deaf people in their practice, there are still that few and there needs to be an attempt to learn and understand us.

I have a feeling many Deaf people view audiologists the same way as they do interpreters, a necessary evil. I do at least. Here is the difference though, interpreters try to understand and respect us. They see our hearing loss and communication differences as our identity and culture, not our disability and not something they are there to fix. Well, some interpreters might not but the Deaf community would reject them pretty darn fast.

I think it would be great if there was an opportunity to bridge the gaps between audiologists and the Deaf community. Perhaps someone who would speak to audiologists and do education sessions on Deaf culture sensitivity. Clinics could have someone come in to speak with their audiologists about Deaf culture and how it overlaps with their profession. Give them tips on how to be sensitive to the specific needs of this community and provide them with extra resources.

I am not going to blame it all on the audiologists. The Deaf community likes the call them audists and them move on. Yes, many of them are audist, but what are we doing to change that? Education and advocacy are the keys to changing things like this. We need to battle audism within the field, not just point it out. One way of doing that is making ourselves heard through education. Perhaps it is a silly idea, perhaps it has been tried, but there is still a massive problem and we shouldn’t stop fighting for the respect our identities deserve.


Having just said all of that I will acknowledge there are a precious few audiologists out there that are respectful of Deaf identity and culture. I have met two in my life time and one of them was Deaf themselves. I didn’t like her at the time because I was about 7 or 8 and she was just as stubborn as me. She won all of my battles with her and it made me mad. I respect her for that now though. The other one is Hearing, but willing to learn and listen. That is all I want, a willingness to learn and see me as the person that I am. Not as something broken that needs to be fixed. I have been doing this long enough that I know what needs to be fixed, and I will tell them what that is. I know that thing isn’t me though, so back off and let me be Deaf!


Jenny